Cassie's Perfect ... Word

Simple Writing, Please

"The poorer a man's intellectual equipment, the more does he revel in technicalities.  A man with a wealth of valuable ideas is anxious to communicate those ideas, and will naturally tend to choose for that purpose the simplest language he can find.  But a man whose intellectuality is a sham, and who has in truth nothing to communicate, endeavors to conceal his emptiness by an outward show of learning. . . .  He fails to see that the love of long words and technical terms is in fact nothing but a symptom of his mental infirmity.  It is a kind of intellectual disease."

~~W.T. Stace, "The Snobbishness of the Learned," in Atlantic Essays (1958).

 

English Language Plurals and Other Crazy Word Formations

The last line of the poem below reminded me that Mother's and Father's (notice apostrophe placement - my preference) Days are coming up.  So I thought I'd pay my tribute here and now ... and also share this lovely ode to our crazy English language.

This version of the ditty is attributed to Eugenie A. Nidia, and I've read that the original dates back to the mid-1800s.  Who is Eugenie A. Nidia?  The only thing I've been able to determine about her is that she might have been a writer, or perhaps a teacher.

  Ode to Plurals
~ Eugenie A. Nidia

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, 
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, 
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.   
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England . 
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

 

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and
Get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
In which your house can burn up as it burns down,
In which you fill in a form by filling it out, and
In which an alarm goes off by going on.

 

And in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?

Out With the Old, In With the New

The end of the year means many things to different people.   For those of us who are word-obsessed, it's a time to reflect on language:  new words, buzzwords, trite phrases, and cliches that shaped and defined the year.  

Oxford University Press has a list and has declared "refudiate" its 2010 Word of the Year.  The New York Times has also identifed its Words of the Year and conveniently breaks down the words into categories: Pop Culture, Communicating, Politics, Travel, Economy, the Oil Spill, and Things.

But perhaps my favorite collection of 2010 words and phrases is the one composed by Rob Kyff (the "Word Guy").  I reprint it here, with Mr. Kyff's* permission, for your enjoyment.

2010 Terms That Made Us Squirm

Listen, my readers, and you shall hear
The words we overused this year.
Some were slang, and some were formal.
Let's just call them "the new normal."
The year began with "Snowmaggedon,"
Showing where we might be headin'.
"Cougars" we met and "Guidos" galore,
And not just at the Jersey Shore.
Amid the World Cup saturnalia
We heard -- my ears! -- the "vuvuzela."
In the Gulf, where fish (ill) swam
We focused on a deep "spill cam."
Ecologists were on the scene,
And soon we all were "going green."
When projects stalled or ran aground,
We just devised a "work-around."
Palin popped with quite a spate,
And none we can't "refudiate."
Always sharp and always fizzly,
She called herself a "mama grizzly."
In her verbal 'cyclopedia
Were brickbats to the "lamestream media."
Each pundit, scribe and news observer
Blabbed of "anti-incumbent fervor."
For these reporters, all declarative,
Every person had a "narrative."
They could never have a chat
Without remarking, "Having said that ... "
And they were always sadly hissing
Of some poor soul who'd just "gone missing."
Economists in hackneyed harmony
Would start each sentence, "In today's economy ..."
"Birthers" spoke out loud and hearty,
Pumping up the new "tea party."
In tirades that were never ending
They flayed and roasted "excess spending."
And when they thrashed "Obamacare,"
They gave Barack some more gray hair.
Voters deemed him sorely lacking,
And served him with a real "shellacking."
Facing Boehner, all tanned up,
The Pres told Dems to just "man up."
When liberals griped about this view,
Some said, "He's just not into you."
Then airline travelers, in a funk,
Screamed angrily, "Don't touch my junk!"
But in the end, we did repel
The worn-out phrase "Don't ask, don't tell."
From twenty-ten, I do surmise,
The term we'll keep is "compromise."

 

*Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Conn., invites your language sightings. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via e-mail to [email protected] or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Rob Kyff and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. 

Grammar Rules: "Right" and "Wrong" Language

The debate between prescriptivism and descriptivism goes on.

Writer, actor, and comedian, Stephen Fry, suggests that there may be different strokes for different folks ... and for different times, occasions, and places.   In other words, "you slip into a suit for an interview, and you dress your language up, too."  But at home, among friends, you can "wear what you like linguistically or satorially."

Check out this well-done kinetic typography video by Matt at RogersCreations, featuring one of Stephen's podcasts.

Personally, I appreciate the rules of grammar and often depend on them.  I enjoy words; I delight in language.  But there is a time and place for everthing, including pedantic language and pedestrian language.

Punctuation Matters

Happy National Punctuation Day (September 24)!  

Showin' Some Love to Copyeditors

Roy Peter Clark, author of  Writing Tools: 50 Essential Strategies for Every Writer and The Glamour of Grammar: A Guide to the Magic and Mystery of Practical English, has written about his working relationship with his copyeditor in an encouraging article, "A Prayer of Thanks for a Guardian Angel," which appears in the August 30, 2010, Publishers Weekly.

Clark starts out with a heartwarming anecdote:

My eccentric love affair with copyeditors derives from a formative trauma I experienced when I was in grammar school in 1958. I was a Catholic school kid living on Long Island, and each day I would watch this cute and cool teenage girl strut home from her bus stop. I never learned her name, but her nickname was "Angel Face," a fitting title she had painted across the back of her brown leather jacket. My desire for this teen angel grew and grew until the day Mom pointed out that the girl of my dreams had misspelled her nickname. Instead of "Angel Face," she had marked "Angle (A-N-G-L-E) Face" on her jacket. I could never look at her the same way again.

Mr. Clark sounds like my kinda guy!  

Many authors--especially in this day of self-publishing, e-books, print-on-demand, and vanity publishing--either don't believe they need a copyeditor, don't understand what a good copyeditor can do for them, or simply don't care.

In his article, Mr. Clark notes, with just the right degree of self-deprecation, humility, and gratitude:  "Writers cannot be trusted to heal themselves, so is there a copyeditor in the house?"

And just to show my appreciation for his sentiments and to show him some love back, I'll probably add Roy's books to my library.

(Photo by Kelley Benham French)

Mini Grammar Lesson: Does “number of” take a plural or singular verb?

Whether the verb with “number of” expressions takes a plural verb or a singular verb depends on the article used: "the" or "a."

  
The expression the number of (with the definite article “the”) has a singular meaning and requires a singular verb.

But the expression a number of (with the indefinite article “a”) has a plural meaning and requires a plural verb.

 Examples:

The number of planes lined up for takeoff is the most I’ve ever seen.
A number of planes are lined up for takeoff.  

The number of protesters indicates dissatisfaction with the proposed legislation.
A number of protesters have indicated their dissatisfaction with the proposed legislation.

Questions?  You have my number!

Punctuating Mother's Day

Are you wondering how to spell Mother's Day, wondering if it's capitalized, wondering if there should be an apostrophe?

 

According to the Chicago Manual of Style, “names of secular and religious holidays or specially designated days or seasons are capitalized.”

 

Easy enough. That includes the day for mothers and also the day for fathers—both “specially designated days.”

 

But what about that darn apostrophe?

 

I guess it depends on if you’re talking about a day – in the possessive sense – that belongs to just one mother (mother’s) or to all mothers (mothers’). Or how about just making it a plural day for all mothers, without any possession by any of the mothers: Mothers Day.

 

For what it’s worth, the Chicago Manual says “Mother’s Day.”  My personal preference is "Mothers Day" -- a day that celebrates lots of mums, but that does not belong to anybody.

 

And the same goes for dads.

What Copyeditors Do

I  stumbled upon a great blog post by Scott Berkun, "How copyediting looks and feels."

This post was especially timely for me.  A potential client found me on LinkedIn. 

Talk about global business!  This guy is halfway around the world, but we've "linked" and now we're "friends" on Facebook.  Though English is not his first language, we're talking, and as an ESL tutor, I truly appreciate his ability to communicate in a non-native language.

Anyway, in his first message, he asked me what I "charge for writing editing in books."

I replied and told him that as a copyeditor, I usually charge by the word or by the page.  I offered to send him my Rate Sheet.

He kindly responded and asked me to send the Rate Sheet.  He also wrote,

I am told that there are people like your self, who take over book drafts and under an agreement edit/rewrite etc and get the book published and marketed and receive their fees/publishers costs etc out of the sale proceeds and pay little share to the author. I do not know how correct is this.  I have no experience. I will be happy to consider any such proposal/suggestion etc.

Well, I was not the person this gentleman was looking for.

There is a difference between an "editor" and a "copyeditor."  And there is a difference between a "copyeditor" and "proofreader."

Bill Walsh, over at The Slot, wrote a good piece describing what a copyeditor does.  (You'll notice he uses the two-word "copy editor" spelling; I prefer one word, "copyeditor."  And the war of words rages on.)

Keep in mind that Bill is generally writing from a journalist's point of view (newspapers, periodicals, and such).  Most of the work I copyedit is for books--nonfiction and some fiction.  In Bill's words, copyeditors

check written material, usually as the final step before it is set into type, to correct errors in grammar, spelling, usage and style (in this case, style refers to a given publication's guidelines for consistency in how words, phrases, typographical elements, etc., are to be used -- or not used).

And that is, more or less, what I do.  I review what's written and do my best to make it perfect.  I check and correct grammar, spelling, punctuation, usage, and style.  Unless a title calls for a "heavy" copyedit, I rarely rewrite what an author has written.

An "editor," on the other hand, is more of a coach, a guide.  In addition to overseeing copyediting and proofreading, the editor is generally responsible for assisting the writer in developing content, developing the story line, or creating an outline or synopsis.  She can provide the writer with a realistic assessment of the writer's skills.  She may be involved with preparing book proposals.  She also provides critique and direction during the writing phase.  She can assist the writer with query letters and packages.  And, during the production phase, she may oversee design, packaging, and marketing. 

I guess another way to look at it is that the editor is usually the whole package; the copyeditor is just a part of the package--an integral and indispensable part of the package. 

If you want a perfect package, hire a copyeditor.

Deadline Survival: the Joys of Freelancing

As I was recently working through several deadline-intense weeks and feeling the grind, I thought I’d share my “survival guide” for stressed-out, manic copyeditors, proofreaders, and anyone else who finds herself up against a hard deadline (or two or three).

1. Sharing is caring.  Share the stress!  Let someone close to you know about the hell you’re going through.  Make it clear to friends and family that you may be out of touch for a while.  But assure them that you’ll be back when you can.  

2. Heating pad.  As a copyeditor, I not only correct grammar, style, and usage and make erudite suggestions.  I also format.  And that formatting often involves performing repetitive, Cirque du Soleil-style maneuvers on the keyboard.  My fingers and my hands get really sore, especially when I’m working on quick turn-around deadlines.  For this, I wrap my hands in my trusty heating pad (set on *high*) every night before I fall asleep.  And sometimes (before wrapping in the heating pad), I massage a little BioFreeze into the old fingers, just for good measure. 

3. Food.  I love to cook.  But when time is of the essence and I’m faced with deadlines, I unfortunately don’t have time for the joy of cooking.  When I foresee a major project coming down the road, I prepare.  I'll have on hand a batch of chili and/or a pot of healthful soup.  I make sure there are breads and bagels in the freezer and a nice selection of cheeses in the ‘frig. I purchase celery and carrots, chop them into edible sticks, and store them in right-sized baggies.  I make sure that certain items are close at hand: eggs (hard boiled and egg salad), clementines, tea, Coke, juice, water, dark chocolate.  And if I am too time-pressed and stressed out to do any of the above, I enlist the help of a loved one. (Refer to Number 1, above.)

4. Evian spritz:  Evian face spritz was big in the '70s and ‘80s. For me, it has never gone out of style.  I LOVE this stuff.  It wakes me up, and it makes me feel cleansed.  I suppose I could just as easily put some tap water in a plastic spray bottle . . . .  

5. Quick, hot showers.  When I’m working (and because I work from home), I sometimes forget about taking showers.  Ha ha ha ha.  But sometimes, there’s nothing like a steaming hot shower (or bath) to keep it going. While the heat is soothing and relaxing, the water is rejuvenating.  Ahhhh … the simple things.  And, I do recommend doing this twice a week.

6. Alternate Work Places:  Although I have a home office (which is up on the third floor), I prefer to work on my laptop, in my living room.  Lately, I’ve taken to moving myself and my work to – you’re not going to believe this – my bedroom!  Shame on me, right?  I happen to have a lovely, huge bedroom; and in one corner, which has floor-to-ceiling windows on both sides, I have a chaise longue and a side table.  When the sun is shining on that side of the house, there is no better place in my house to be.  Feet up, arms on their proper armrests, good support on my back.  Lovely! However, I must be honest with you.  With a particularly boring treatise, I have been known to snooze right there in the chaise.  Anyway, I digress.  My point is this:  While some say that it’s important for freelancers to have one dedicated work space, I believe in the freedom of movement and the joy of having a variety of work places. Whatever space you need to get that deadline done ....

Whatever sensory event or food or surroundings you need to accomplish that deadline ....   It's yours for the taking.  So many joys of freelancing!